Having a complicated relationship with your mother-in-law is (sometimes) par for the course. But disagreements over the right way to make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving is way different than this MIL’s awful behavior toward her daughter-in-law — especially after she made a truly vile comment about her granddaughter that will make you want to punch something.
The mom told the whole story in the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, starting with a seriously eye-rolling backstory.
“To be honest, my MIL is horrible,” she says right off the bat. “She gives backhanded compliments, insults me and my looks and always tries to set my husband up with other people.”
She continued, “The last time we went to her place she said she could make my husband a tinder account, or set him up with some girl who is the daughter of MILs best friend. My husband has told her to stop, but doesn’t do anything else. News flash, she doesn’t stop.”
So rude, right? Attacks her and tries to set up her husband with other people? She is psychotic! The mom, whose been with her husband for seven years, is truly a saint.
Now, the OP is pregnant with baby number 2. They already have a 6-year-old daughter who has epilepsy, and apparently that is a problem for this evil MIL. Things came to a head at the baby shower recently.
“When sending invites to my baby shower, I told my husband I didn’t want my MIL there,” she wrote, because duh! Why would you want that piece of trash — er, woman — at your celebration? The husband (who is definitely no angel either) didn’t like that.
“He told me, ‘since you’re not letting my own mother be in the room with you when you’re giving birth, you have to invite her to this. You should be grateful that you get a baby shower at all,’” she added. Huh? Of course this Negative Nancy is not allowed in the delivery room, like, how was that even a question? Instead of the husband sympathizing with his pregnant wife, he’s trying to guilt and manipulate her to inviting his mom to her shower. The shower that the husband won’t even be at, as “he has something at work,” according to the mom. No, no, no, this is the last thing the poor mom should have to deal with at her baby shower.
Unfortunately, her whiny man-baby husband got his way, and the mother-in-law showed up to the baby shower. She was the picture of grace and elegance — ha! She actually decided to attack her own granddaughter in front of everyone.
“At the baby shower, I was telling everyone how our baby was once again a girl,” the mom said. “My MIL then decided to say, ‘Wow another girl! Let’s hope she’s not like her sister.’”
What’s that supposed to mean? The mom wanted to know too, but when she asked, the mother-in-law doubled down with her horrible-ness. “I asked what she meant by that and she said, ‘we don’t need any other diseases in the family. Imagine seeing a new-born baby drop to the floor and shake everywhere. It’s embarrassing.’”
Excuse me while I throw up. Who does this woman think she is to call anyone embarrassing after that behavior? Much less her 6-year-old granddaughter. I’m truly have no words, this woman is the mother-in-law from hell.
“At first I was honestly confused as she clearly had 0 idea what she was talking about,” the mom continued. “But then the pregnancy hormones really kicked in and I started crying hysterically. I left my friends house and my mother drove me home.”
Such a terrible baby shower experience. She was probably hoping to cry in the comfort of her own home, but of course, her husband (aka, the evil spawn of the evil woman) made that impossible.
“Once I got home I saw my husband there. I didn’t know why he was home and not at work but I just didn’t stop crying,” she continued, which is already a little suspicious, as the only reason he couldn’t go to the baby shower was supposedly because he had to work. Then he had to go and open his mouth.
“He said, ‘where are all the gifts? You do realise how expensive some baby things can be.’” Grade A dirtbag, for real. “I honestly couldn’t believe he said that of all things so I decided to lock myself in our bedroom,” she continued, as she was just 100 percent done.
“About 10 mins later he tells me he got a text from his mother explaining what happened,” she said. “He told me that I ‘caused a scene’ and ‘should be happy I got to meet up with some friends today.’” Right…because the MIL obviously told the whole story accurately. Why is he believing that witch over his own wife?
“I tried explaining how wrong what she said was and how she insulted our daughter and UNBORN baby,” she continued. “He said ‘well Anne’s epilepsy medication isn’t cheap so I see why she said what she said. You just interpreted it wrong. Apologise to my mother.’”
Boy, bye! Luckily, OP did exactly that. “I packed a bag and called my mother to pick me up. I’m currently at her place and she’s picking Anne up from school. My husband and his family keep blowing up my phone and calling me a ‘drama queen’ along with other hateful names so I need to ask, AITA?”
The top comment at the moment sums up our feelings perfectly: “You are in an abusive relationship and you need to get the hell out of it immediately before it does irreparable damage to your children,” they said. Exactly! She needs to run far from this man and his awful mother.
“Read this OP! You’re NTA,” another said. “Get out. Don’t have your daughters grow up in that environment. They will see how you are treated and think that that’s the norm. You deserve better!”
Someone else commented, “She deserves better and so do the kids. He will teach his daughters that women are not valued (except his horrible mother) and they will chose men just like him. OP please heed this advice you’re getting, he’s not a good person and you need to start documenting things, and get the hell out!!!”
Others talked about how a terrible mother-in-law could be dealt with, but not with her husband ganging up on her.
“Her MIL is a monster, but it’s her husband’s enabling and encouraging MIL’s behavior that is truly horrifying,” someone said. “So glad to hear OP packed her bags to go stay with her mother, but I hope she knows it needs to be a PERMANENT move. I so desperately hope OP has a strong support system in place, because she is going to need it.”
She continued, “NTA, obviously. But it breaks my heart that OP has been so abused and manipulated to the point she actually thinks she might possibly be the asshole in this situation.”
Another person shared that they had epilepsy and a similar situation happened with her grandma on her dad’s side. She wrote, “My father immediately cut all ties with his mother, sister, and anyone else who had so much as looked at my wrong. This is what your husband should be doing. Standing up for his daughter and his wife. Not allowing his mother to spread such hatred, towards a six year old who’s done nothing wrong at all. Please stand up for your daughter OP. Please don’t let people into her life who tell her there’s something wrong with her. Like she’s a burden, or a freak. Please.”
Hopefully OP’s mom is supportive and helps her get herself and her daughters out of this situation before her husband and mother-in-law can wreak any more havoc on their lives.
Before you go, check out these wild stories about Reddit’s most horrific mother-in-laws.
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